Or as the NIV says:
"Everything is permissible for me"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"--but I will not be mastered by anything. 1 Corinthians 6:12
Allow me to preface this blog post with the disclaimer that I believe Jesus Christ died on the cross to be our atoning sacrifice and if we believe in Him & ask Him to forgive our sins we are saved. Food choices are not a matter of salvation, but as we grow in our walk with the Lord he calls us to do & convicts us of different things. He does this because He knows what's best for us & He wants us to be capable of fulfilling the plans He has for us & reaching this world for Christ. I bet I have a million things left for the Lord to show me where I still need to grow. For now, he's showing me this. :)
Photo by Amy
I was running with a good friend, Alison, this morning & we got onto the subject of healthy eating. This is such a grey area for both of us & we were trying to get it all figured out... is that even possible here on earth? It's nice for me to talk about these things with friends though. It challenges me and forces me to dig deeper into WHY I believe what I believe. I've been thinking and praying about it all day. So now I'm blogging about it too. :) Right now I'm overweight according to the charts and according to how I feel. I feel strong and healthy about 15 pounds lighter than I am right now. That's the weight my body gets back to in between every pregnancy. I had a baby almost 4 months ago & I'm trying to loose the weight "God's Way" instead of my way.
Let me give you a little history of "My Way" so you see why that's not good enough...
As a teenager I was very self-conscious about my weight, so I was always careful to stay thin, but I was far from healthy! I got into the habit of avoiding good healthy foods because I could only have so many calories per day and I didn't want to waste them on food I didn't really enjoy. This was the beginning of an eating disorder, but that's another story!
A typical day for me back then would be skipping breakfast. An ice cream shake from the school lunchroom (sometimes a side of fries or slice of pizza too, but usually just the shake). Brownies, cookies, little debbie's, ice cream bars, chips or WHATEVER I could find in the (always well stocked) pantry or freezer after school. This was my biggest meal of the day. Then hamburger helper for dinner with a small scoop of canned vegetables. And don't forget a bedtime snack! Another sugary treat from the pantry or freezer.
When I became a mother I advanced from the "Sugar-Frenzy" diet to the SAD diet (Standard American Diet) where everything has sugar IN it, but isn't necessarily considered a "sweet" or a "treat". You know, like PB&J sandwiches on white bread with sugary peanut butter and sugary grape jelly. I never read labels and I wasn't much of a cook. If it came in a box or a can we were good. I did venture out and learn how to make some things though. I taught myself how to make a few of my favorite things... caramels and truffles and cinnamon rolls and pizza. Mmmm Mmmm good. :)
I've slowly but surely been trading in the pre-packaged foods for homemade versions as the years go by. Since we're a big family & we've always had a tighter budget it's been amazing how much more we get for the money homemade. So we traded in our Standard American Diet for "Budget Homemade". Just going from pre-packaged to from-scratch brought us forward a little on our healthy eating adventure, but it wasn't until 2 1/2 years ago that I ever had any CONVICTION to purposefully choose healthier foods.
It all started with the coffee. I LOVED coffee. And not just any coffee, but syrupy, chocolaty, whipped-cream covered coffee!!! I drank a specialty coffee concoction every day. Every single day. Sometimes twice a day. And I enjoyed every last drop of it. It was my afternoon reward, my midnight scrapbooking energy, my sweet treat to share with friends who stopped by. I had my blender working hard & I called my kitchen the "Coffee Shack" because I was too cheap to buy a Caribou every day, but I wanted that yummy blended taste in my mouth!
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths. Proverbs 3:5-6
Then one day when I was out running I felt the Lord urging me to fast from coffee. Okay, I can do that, for how long? "Until I run a marathon", that's just silly, I don't even want to run a marathon, the furthest I've gone is 2.2 miles, maybe I'll give up coffee for a week... "Until I run a marathon" those marathon runners are way too skinny, they look like they're starving themselves, maybe I'll fast from coffee for a few weeks... "Until I run a marathon" but I'm pregnant every other year, how could I ever have enough time to run that far? Maybe a month would be long enough to fast from coffee... "Until I run a marathon" Okay Lord, if this is you, I trust you. If it's me, then I'm really going crazy! :)
My sheep hear My voice, and I know them, and they follow Me; and I give eternal life to them, and they will never perish; and no one will snatch them out of My hand. John 10:27-28
The more I've prayed about it & the more I've searched His Word the stronger that conviction gets, so I'm pretty sure it's Him! Here's to 2 1/2 years without coffee! Since I've been off coffee I've come to realise what an addiction it was for me. That it became an idol for me. If I was tired or crabby or trying to get something done I turned to coffee when I should have turned to God. I wouldn't have seen it at the time, but God did & he loves me enough to tell me what steps to take. Now I drink smoothies almost everyday & I don't miss the coffee a bit! The nice thing about smoothies is that if I skip a day I don't get a headache! Coffee withdrawls are real for us coffee addicts. Every time I trust Him & do something crazy because he told me to I'm always glad I did! :)
And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell, Mark 9:47
So if coffee was standing in my way of seeking God, it had to go. It has been plucked. Better coffee than an eye, ey!?!
So that was my first conviction, my second conviction came when I was running a half marathon in Arizona. January 2011. What is it with running and healthy eating convictions!?! The Lord told me to stop eating sugar. I wish I could tell you a story similar to the coffee one, but the truth is this one has been a real struggle for me. It's an uphill battle. I've been slowly-but-surely changing recipes and habits to eliminate more and more sugar from my family's diet, but I have not overcome this addiction yet. And yes, for me it is an addiction. Just last night I was stressed out, baby was crying and I found myself daydreaming about ice cream with peanut butter & chocolate instead of praying to God.
Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge. Psalm 62:8
My name is Christi and I am a Sugar Addict. Acknowledging it is the first step, right!?!
So, today as I was in prayer about WHY CAN'T I HAVE SUGAR, everyone else eats sugar all the time, why do I feel so convicted!?! You know, whining to God because I'm a wimp... I was reminded of this verse:
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
Now, I'm not saying that fasting from sugar is comparable to living in exile, but it does kinda feel that way! And if God was faithful to the Israelites in Babylon it's a good reminder that he'll be faithful to me too! :) He knows the plans he has for me, how could I possibly know what steps I need to take to fulfill those plans? He is the Creator, I am the created. I know that somehow, someway, if I can (by God's grace) overcome my sugar addiction I will see good come of it someday. I trust God that He isn't just putting this on my heart to torture me. :)
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:9
So, here's to another "Day 1" of fasting from sugar. I'm sorry Lord that I have not been faithful to you. I have allowed my addiction to master me. Thank you for your faithfulness, and thank you for your grace. God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. AMEN! :)
